Happy Sunday, Progressors!

(That’s you—the one who opened this email or clicked the link. You showed up, and in doing so, you became a Progressor.)

It’s been a big week for this little newsletter. Paternal Progress debuted at #28 on Substack’s “Rising” list in Parenting, and for the first time, a post crossed 100 views—now approaching 350 as of this writing. It's a small number, but I’m stunned. I’m grateful. It wouldn't have been possible without you.

Let’s take a look at the week in full.

(Before you go, check out some big news about upcoming content below.)

This Week's Posts

A roundup of everything published to the site in the past week

My Work

Monday

Wednesday

Friday

This week, I tried a new experiment: cross-posting great writing from some of my favorite fellow Substack parenting writers. Thanks to everyone who gave permission for me to share their work on Paternal Progress. I think the experiment went well, and I’ll likely continue it.

Shared From Others

Tuesday
The Childcare Crisis No One Prepared You For
by

Thursday
The One About Post-pandemic Parenting
by

Saturday
When Fear Sounds Like Love
by

Weekly Recommendation

Something I read, watched, pondered, or prayed on that helped me make a little progress this week.

This morning, Gareth at posted the latest edition of his fantastic Dear Dad series. This edition brings us a letter from of to his younger, pre-dad self, and it’s well worth a read.

You’ll learn that being a dad isn’t about how much you get done or how perfectly you balance it all. It’s about presence. About patience. About choosing to show up again and again, even when you feel like you have nothing left to give.

And you’ll learn, slowly, over time, that you are not failing.

Be sure to check out The Screen Free Dad and , hit subscribe, and drop them a line to let them know I sent you.

One more thing...

A preview or parting thought to carry you into the coming week.

Now, for the news

Next week, I'll take a break from the usual Monday/Wednesday/Friday essays to focus on something special I've been building for a while. It'll be in the same vein as the personal reflections you've read here before, sprinkled with a little pixie dust.

It's ambitious, and it needs my full attention.

But I'm not going dark.

This coming week, I'll publish a short Paternal Precept daily. These bite-sized reflections are built for quick hits of clarity, intention, and encouragement. Think of them as a daily breath in the chaos.

So, no essays. Just one sharp sentence a day to carry into your parenting life. But stay tuned for the big project, April 21–25.

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This Week's Theme: The Stories We Tell

One of the best things about being a parent is the opportunity to tell stories, whether reading to your kids, making up stories for them on the fly, or telling others stories about them.

Monday

Wednesday

Friday

Weekly Recommendation

Something I read, watched, pondered, or prayed on that helped me make a little progress this week.

At the end of the day, friendships don’t need to be complicated. They just need to exist. A good friendship isn’t always about deep, soul-searching conversations every time you meet up. It’s about having people you can count on, even if it’s just to shoot the breeze or share a laugh.

So send that text. Make that plan. Friendships don’t just happen - they’re built.

– , “The Fatherhood Friendship Gap”

This week, I connected with , who writes . His piece from a week ago on the power of music spoke to me, as I've spent recent beautiful East Tennessee mornings with my family on our deck listening and dancing to Queen, Ray Charles, Father John Misty, John Denver, Kendrick Lamar, and quite possibly my favorite song of all time, among others.

This isn't directly dad-related, but this week, my wife turned me on to the Hulu show Mid-Century Modern. It's a loving tribute to The Golden Girls, with Dorothy, Blanche, and Rose replaced by three gay men played by Nathan Lane, Nathan Lee Graham, and Matt Bomer. Sharp writing, great performances, and a deftly-wielded laugh track make this possibly the best multi-cam sitcom I've seen in at least 25 years. The icing on the cake is Linda Lavin, who plays the Sophia role through eight episodes and blows it away. Lavin died during filming, and the show's handling of her death in episode nine might be the best work I've seen adjusting to the death of a main character in a TV series.

If you like The Golden Girls, make time for this one. If your kids are young, make sure they've gone to bed, as this show is rated TV-MA, mostly for language and probably a little for subject matter.

One more thing...

A preview or parting thought to carry you into the coming week.

This is my third month writing Paternal Progress. I started in February with a loose plan to share relatable, helpful stories about my experience as a dad. With the demands of fatherhood, I wasn't sure I'd be able to keep it up, but so far, so good. The newsletter is steadily gaining a following (32 subscribers as of this writing), and I'm finding my voice with it. If you happened on this post and are not already subscribed, please consider a free subscription. I haven't paywalled anything yet and have no immediate plans to do so. I now offer the option to drop a $5 tip if you would be so kind, and hopefully, I'll have a few perks for paid subscribers soon.

I'd like to keep this going as long as possible, so I'd appreciate any support you can provide, even if it's simply sharing the newsletter with a friend.
Thank you so much for reading.

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This Week's Theme: Teaching What We're Still Learning

I had a lot of fun with this theme. Read all three newsletters at the links below.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Weekly Recommendation

Something I read, watched, pondered, or prayed on that helped me make a little progress this week.

at The Fatherhood Framework consistently produces thoughtful, engaging work that helps make you a better dad or parent or gives you something to think about. I can't recommend his work enough.
If I had to pick just one piece to recommend from the past week, it would be this one.

One more thing...

A preview or parting thought to carry you into the coming week.

As dads, responsibilities pull us all in a thousand directions. We have jobs, bills, and partners, and we never get a vacation from the hardest job we'll ever do: fatherhood. You're a lot of things: overwhelmed, stressed, tired... but you're not alone. We're all going through it. As the author John Green said:

“The nature of impending fatherhood is that you are doing something that you’re unqualified to do, and then you become qualified while doing it.”

The good news is that everything gets a little easier when you have a community. Traditional communities aren't easy to come by these days. That's why I wanted to start Paternal Progress and why there are a lot of other great dad-focused communities here on Substack and across the internet. If you're looking for connection and community, drop me a line, and I'll be honored to help.

I hope you enjoyed the new Progress Report. From now on, this newsletter will come to you each Sunday at noon EST to recap the week on Paternal Progress and maybe give you some things to do or think about. Do you know someone who might like to see this each week? Share it with them:

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Weekly Thoughts

This week, we talked about how our kids handle change and a little reflection on how I'm handling my kid's changes. Next Saturday, I'll have some further recommended reading on kids and change. But I want to go back in time to the week before—Parenting With Mindfulness and Stoicism. There are several books you can read with your kids to promote these techniques and ideas. Here are a few I read with my son:

The Boy, the Mole, the Fox, and the Horse
by Charlie Mackesy

I've talked about this book before, but it is by far my favorite book to read to my kids. Charlie Mackesy uses his unique, varied art style and calligraphic handwriting to craft what is honestly one of the most beautiful books I've ever read. It's almost more of a collection of precepts or meditations than a cohesive narrative, and it might be hard for younger kids to follow, but the lessons on managing fear, building resilience, cultivating self-awareness, and promoting kindness are well in line with mindfulness and Stoicism. Some of my favorite bits are:

“Tears fall for a reason, and they are your strength, not weakness.”

---

“What do you want to be when you grow up?” asked the mole.

“Kind,” said the boy.

---

“Asking for help isn't giving up,” said the horse. “It's refusing to give up.”

---

Zen Shorts
by Jon J Muth

This book is another written and illustrated by the author, with a unique watercolor-and-pen art style that evokes warmth. Stillwater—a talking panda with a "slight panda accent"—has just moved next door to three siblings—Addy, Michael, and Karl. Stillwater shares three Zen parables—one with each kid—to illustrate an idea in a way children can relate. It's a fantastic book.

Somewhere, Right Now
by Kerry Docherty and Illustrated by Suzie Mason

This book came to us through Dolly Parton's Imagination Library, and it's probably my favorite of all the books we've received. A young girl feels scared during a storm, so her mother encourages her to close her eyes, take a deep breath, and imagine something beautiful happening in the world. The young girl then passes the lesson on to her brother, who passes it on, and so on. Of the books on this list, it's probably the one that has resonated most with my son because its' messaging is much more accessible to a four-year-old.

What Do You Do with a Problem
by Kobi Yamada and Illustrated by Mae Besom

The most Stoic of the books on this list, What Do You Do With A Problem exemplifies Marcus Aurelius' line from Meditations, "What stands in the way, becomes the way." Besom's unique and beautiful illustrations help carry the story of a boy who is followed by a problem—illustrated as a growing storm. When the boy finally confronts the problem, he finds an opportunity. It's a perfect book to plant a seed of resilience in a child's mind.

Wisdom of The Week

My favorite excerpt from this week’s run of entries.

Right now, as I write this, the sun hasn't risen, and they're both asleep in little cotton cocoons. They're morphing into new little humans, ever so slightly different than the humans I tucked into bed.

I'll miss who they were yesterday and the day before. I'll miss it all.

But I can't wait to meet the people they are today.

The Recap

The three newsletters from the past week. This week’s theme was “Children and Change”

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Affiliate Disclaimer

Paternal Progress participates in the Bookshop.org affiliate program. This means that when you purchase books through the links on this page, I may receive a small commission of 10 percent from each sale. This helps support the work I do at Paternal Progress, without any extra cost to you. I only recommend books I genuinely believe will benefit you and your family. Thank you for supporting my site and local bookstores!

For more information, see my Sponsorship & Affiliate Policy.

For a full list of the books I’ve promoted in the newsletter, check out my Bookshelf.

Wisdom of the Week

My favorite excerpt from this week’s run of entries.

For now, this is how he learns. The world is still new to him, full of gaps he’s trying to fill, like an infinite jigsaw puzzle with only a few pieces in his hands. We can meet that curiosity with impatience, or we can meet it with presence. The questions will come either way—the only thing in our control is how we respond.

— Love the Chaos, or Fight It. Guess Which One Works? (Mar. 5)

The Recap

The three newsletters from the past week. This week’s theme was “Raising My Son.”

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

What I’ve Been Reading

A rundown of all of the books and articles I enjoyed this week.

Books

How To Think Like A Roman Emperor
By Donald Robertson

From Bookshop.org:

Combining remarkable stories from Marcus’s life with insights from modern psychology and the enduring wisdom of his philosophy, How to Think Like a Roman Emperor puts a human face on Stoicism and offers a timeless and essential guide to handling the ethical and psychological challenges we face today.

From Derek:

This is a great book to contextualize Marcus Aurelius’ life as a companion to Meditations. I’ve been reading bits of it this week in preparation for next week’s slate of newsletters.

Discipline is Destiny
by Ryan Holiday

From Bookshop.org:

At the heart of Stoicism are four simple virtues: courage, temperance, justice, and wisdom. Everything else, the Stoics believed, flows from them. Discipline is Destiny will guide readers down the path to self-mastery, upon which all the other virtues depend. Discipline is predictive. You cannot succeed without it. And if you lose it, you cannot help but bring yourself failure and unhappiness.

From Derek:

This book is my favorite so far from Holiday’s Virtues series. I’ve been reading it this week as a refresher on the importance of discipline—something I often struggle with.

The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse
by Charlie Mackesy

From Bookshop.org:

Charlie Mackesy offers inspiration and hope in uncertain times in this beautiful book, following the tale of a curious boy, a greedy mole, a wary fox and a wise horse who find themselves together in sometimes difficult terrain, sharing their greatest fears and biggest discoveries about vulnerability, kindness, hope, friendship and love. The shared adventures and important conversations between the four friends are full of life lessons that have connected with readers of all ages.

From Derek:

This is a gorgeous, funny, and insightful book full of timeless wisdom fit for all ages. I’ve been reading it to my four-year-old, and it’s become one of his favorites in just a few nights of reading.

Articles

1. The Magic Phrase to Stop Kids From Asking Why 70 Million Times a Day
   by Kelly Holmes
   Happy You, Happy Family

2. How To Embrace Your Curious Kid’s Constant Questioning
   by Paige Shiels
   Nurtured First

Affiliate Disclaimer

Paternal Progress participates in the Bookshop.org affiliate program. This means that when you purchase books through the links on this page, I may receive a small commission of 10 percent from each sale. This helps support the work I do at Paternal Progress, without any extra cost to you. I only recommend books I genuinely believe will benefit you and your family. Thank you for supporting my site and local bookstores!

Wisdom of The Week

If you're competitive, you'll want them to hit milestones before their peers. But they won't. Don't let discouragement creep in. It'll happen. And when it does, there's a definite downside.

Watching my kids grow and move through stages has been bittersweet. On one hand, you want them to gain independence, but you miss the days when everything was new and they needed you more. Cherish each stage as if it will end tomorrow.

The Recap

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

What I’ve Been Reading

Hunt, Gather, Parent

by Michaeleen Doucleff

Much of the parenting advice out there today isn’t based on “scientific or medical studies,” or even on traditional knowledge passed down from grandmas to moms for centuries. Instead, a big chunk of it comes from centuries-old pamphlets—often written by male doctors—intended for foundling hospitals, where nurses cared for dozens, even hundreds, of abandoned babies, all at once.

Buy It Here

The Daily Dad

by Ryan Holiday

We will fall short. We will lose our tempers, get distracted, prioritize the wrong things, even hurt ourselves and the people we love in the process. What then? Just as with the pages of this book, we must pick back up where we left off. We must accept the fact that we are flawed humans while doing our best to learn from our errors and to not make the same mistakes twice . . . or any more times than we already have. Dust yourself off. Recommit. Do better.

Buy It Here

Affiliate Disclaimer:

Paternal Progress participates in the Bookshop.org affiliate program. This means that when you purchase books through the links on this page, I may receive a small commission of 10 percent from each sale. This helps support the work I do at Paternal Progress, without any extra cost to you. I only recommend books I genuinely believe will benefit you and your family. Thank you for supporting my site and local bookstores!

This Week’s Theme

Letting our kids sit with discomfort

Wisdom of The Week

The Recap

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

What I’ve Been Reading

Books

Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn

I’m not sure I’m completely sold on the reality of every idea Kohn puts forward, but in theory, it’s all great.

Articles

Understanding Dan Siegel’s 4 S’s of Secure Attachments - Proactive Approaches

Secure attachments are crucial for a child's emotional and social development, providing safety and trust. Understanding Dan Siegel’s 4 S’s – Safe, Seen, Soothed, and Secure – helps parents create nurturing environments for healthy relationships and long-term well-being. By focusing on these elements, caregivers can support children in developing resilience, social skills, and academic achievement.

The Authoritative Parenting Style: An Evidence-Based Guide by Gwen Dewar in Parenting Science

The authoritative parenting style combines warmth, setting limits, and positive reinforcement to guide children effectively. It emphasizes nurturing, respect, and reasoning to promote independence and positive outcomes in children. Studies show that children raised by authoritative parents are more likely to excel academically, behave well, and become self-reliant.

Starting Monday, I’ll be covering the things I wish I’d known before I was a dad. See you then.